


Teen Idle || Dream SMP AU

by trash_noodle



Series: dream smp drabbles [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lonely TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal Thoughts, The Author Regrets Everything, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28360974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trash_noodle/pseuds/trash_noodle
Summary: ‘Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bibleFeeling super, super, super suicidalThe wasted years, the wasted youthThe pretty lies, the ugly truthAnd the day has come where I have diedOnly to find, I've come alive...’~~~During his exile, Tommy wasn't feeling so great, that was obvious. Though Ghostbur denied any fact that Tommy was slowly spiralling to into a deep depression, he didn't know any better to help. And so came Tommy's breaking point. His only friend had left him, his home was blown to bits, a scene all too familiar for Tommy to comprehend - and so without a second thought he stood on top of that pillar, as alone and helpless as he'd ever felt...And jumped.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: dream smp drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048853
Comments: 6
Kudos: 205





	Teen Idle || Dream SMP AU

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide

He was alone. Though of course that was nothing new to Tommy. Nothing felt new to him anymore. Despite only being sixteen, barely an adult, he'd been through so much. So many things no child should have to go through. Dragged into a war when he was fourteen, by fifteen fighting against a threat so big no kid should have to face, and by sixteen standing on top of a giant pillar - empty and alone.

Alone. He was sick or the word. He hated it so much he couldn't even bare to say it anymore. He was always alone, there was never anything else. Alone, alone, _alone_.

He hated it. He hated it so _damn_ much.

The word trapped him, suffocated him until he couldn't breathe. He couldn't bare it anymore. Sleepless nights plagued with loneliness, no one there to comfort him - not Dream, not Ghostbur, certainly not Tubbo. No one. No one had come to visit him, and he knew why, oh Tommy knew very clearly why no one had come to visit him. They hadn't come to visit him simply because he wasn't worth visiting, now that he wasn't in a position of power, vice-president of a country, he was simply no longer worth their time. Though they didn't say it, though Ranboo _pretended_ to be his friend he knew everything the latter did for him was just out of pity. It was all because they pitied him, not because they missed him or liked him. They all hated him, secretly he knew they were all _glad_ he was out of the picture. Even Tubbo, why else would exile him?

The word alone, _loneliness_ \- he hated it. 

Though what else could describe how he felt at this moment. Always even? Desolate? It just meant the same thing. They all lead back to the very same word he was trying so hard to avoid thinking.

 _Alone_.

Why couldn't things have been different? Why did Tubbo have to make the decision to exile him? Put L'Manberg over his own best friend. It was Tubbo's fault he was here, it was- 

_It was his own fault._

The reason wasn't Tubbo, Dream, or anyone else. The problem was _him._ Himself. He'd caused all this, he'd caused his own suffering. He'd made this happen. Why did he have to grief George's house? Why did he have to be punished for it? It was a simple mistake, he meant to steal but he hadn't meant for the entire place to burn to his ground. 

Dream had taken his punishment too far. Dream had been the one who caused this. It was Dream's fault. Dream had - no, no, no Dream was his friend. His only friend. Dream would _never_ do something like that. Dream had been the only one to visit him. Dream had come everyday to watch him. Watch over him. Watch - watch him. 

Dream had come...to watch him?

Tommy's breath hitched.

Turns out his last friend hadn't been his last friend at all. Had everything - every single thing Dream done for him in exile a complete and utter _lie?_ A secret motive to keep him in line and under control? 

No friends. Alone. Alone. Alone. 

_Alone._

Nothing, absolutely nothing was real. Dream wasn't his friend, was he? No one - no one was his friend.

He had _nobody_.

Now it all made sense.

He looked down at the ground below him, miles below where he stood. For a moment, he pictured the intense light of the mesmerising lava pool in the Nether.

No one cared. No one would care.

What about Ghostbur? 

The ghost was his friend… Though only a shell of what used to be his brother remained. However still better than when he had been alive. He was chipper, peppy with an annoying bright attitude. He had almost made exile a bit more bareable. _Almost._ At least, until he had disappeared.

Now no one was there for him.

He was-

_‘Ghostbur, what's it like being a ghost?’_

Alone...

_‘I dunno - it's okay I guess? I mean sure I can't remember most things, but I think that's probably for the best. Happy memories y'know? I don't really miss being alive to be honest, this seems much better.’_

Tommy closed his eyes.

_‘I reckon I'd make a good ghost.’_

He stepped closer to the edge.

_‘Why's that?’_

He hesitated.

_‘It seems better. You said it yourself, happy memories.’_

He inhaled sharply.

_‘Ha… Uh - I think I prefer alive Tommy thanks.’_

No one would miss him.

_‘Hm…’_

Alone.

_‘Tommy…’_

He took a step forward.

_‘I think I'd make a good ghost.’_

Then he was falling.

_‘I don't want to talk about this anymore-’_

He was free.

**Author's Note:**

> So as you can probably tell I was just vibin and listening to Teen Idle last night when I suddenly got the idea of how this kinda represented Tommy's depression arc in exile? Idk why it just came to me, but I was feeling sorta angsty and in the mood to write some angst but it legit hurt to write this- 
> 
> Also, if this was good I could potentially make a part two where GhostInnit comes into the story but that depends of what people think. So if anyone wants a second chapter just let me know. 
> 
> Sorry for this angst skdbdkdbdd


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